Lessons Learned

Until 2:40 on December 2nd, 2011, this was my family. That's my husband, Alex, on the left, with our daughter, Chica, 9, and me, on the right, with our first born son, Peanut. Alex and I met at a Halloween Party at his house in October 1993. We didn't start dating until just over a year later and on July 15th we'll celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary. We moved in to our large one bedroom apartment in July 1997, following my graduation from Canisius. The first few years I was working days and Alex was working nights, so Friday night date nights were really important to us. We usually went to Ted's on Sheridan drive and to Steve's Wonderful World of Pets afterwards. I liked to look at the puppies and Guinea Pigs, he liked to look at the birds and ferrets.

On the first Friday in November, 2001, for reasons I can no longer remember, we went to Steve's first and our lives changed forever. That night we went from a couple to a family. As usual, we headed for the puppies first, where I would typically stay, while Alex would wander off after a few minutes to look at other things. When we walked up, out in the play area was the cutest little thing I'd ever seen in my life. A little 10 week old Cocker Spaniel who jumped into my arms and started licking my face. And Alex said "Do you want him?" Before I knew it, we were walking out the door with a puppy, crate, bowls, toys, food, a collar, a leash and who knows what else with no idea of what we were getting ourselves in for. We'd never trained a dog and I had to go to work in less than 48 hours. What were we thinking?! I don't know, but I'm soooo glad we did it anyway because I wouldn't have traded a minute of the 10 years and a month we were lucky enough to have him for our very own.

Nine months later, while Peanut celebrated his first birthday in a kennel and getting his first taste of grooming, Alex and I were in Puerto Rico and while we were there, we found him the best birthday present ever! Every morning and evening, when we stopped at a gas station for water or to fill up the car, there was a little puppy sitting by the door, wagging her tail at anyone that went in and out. When she was still there on Friday, Alex scooped her up, dropped her in the car at my feet and we headed to the nearest vet. She had mange and worms and would have been dead before long. The vet estimated she was about 12 weeks old. We brought her home, because obviously impulsive dog adopting has become our new favorite hobby, and for 9 years she and Peanut were inseperable.

Life with two dogs was amazing, especially since Alex works about 60-70 hour a week, but not without its challenges. Chica has some anxiety issues and Peanut had what I thought were authority issues. He hated it when I would go away for a few days and if we took the trash out of the can, but forgot to take it out to the dumpster...we'd come home to find it all over the house. When he'd get upset and we weren't home, he'd become destructive, usually with just my things. When he'd get upset and we were home, he would become aggressive. He was very possessive of me, especially when Alex would come home. And he was very territorial of the apartment. When anyone would come on the floor he would charge the front door and start barking. When I would walk him in the afternoons I would get really nervous when anyone would approach us and would cross the street if we saw another dog. I didn't trust how he would react. And Chica looked to him for everything.

The Summer Peanut was turning 10, his health started to decline. At 6 or 7 he was diagnosed with a mild heart murmur. It didn't really slow him down, except on hot days the Summer he was turning 9. He'd have to stop and rest on some of our walks. The Summer he was turning 10, he started limping on his right rear leg. In August we had a fatty cyst removed and while he was under, they discovered his leg was out of his hip joint and he was bone on bone. He did fine on pain meds for a few months, but in late October or early November he began to lose control of both rear legs and we knew we were running out of time. We hoped for one last Christmas, but it wasn't meant to be.

After Peanut was gone, Chica was lost for a while and so was I. It no longer felt like home without Peanut there, but we didn't know what to do. Alex kept saying Chica was lonely and needs a companion, but I wasn't so sure. Any time we'd tried to bring another dog over for a visit it hadn't gone as I'd wanted. With my brother's Autumn, she snapped at her nose, and with my friend's Risa, she just ignored her or ran away every time Risa would come around. At nearly 10 did I want to put her through the trials of puppyhood? And what did we do if it didn't work out? I'd never be able to get rid of either of them and this place is too small to be a war zone. So we tested the waters and started taking her to daycare on Fridays. They report that she's shy and doesn't really play, but otherwise does fine with the other dogs, so I started looking for a Cocker Spaniel breeder and found an amazing one right in my own back yard.

We learned our lessons with Peanut. When we decided that not only did we want to bring another dog into our lives, but that we wanted that dog to be a Cocker Spaniel, we were determined to do it right this time. We looked at our schedules and decided with all the travel we have planned for this Spring, the best time to bring a puppy home would be in late Summer or early Fall. When Sue accepted us as parents for one of her puppies the first thing I did was order all of Cesar Millan's books and start recording all the episodes of Dog Whisperer I could find. I've also put all the past seasons on my Netflix list and am currently half way through season one.

I have completed two of his books so far, "A Member of the Family" and "How to Raise the Perfect Dog." I am half way through "Cesar's Way." After that, it will be "Be the Pack Leader" and "Cesar's Rules." I have also subscribed to Cesar's Way magazine. In the few short weeks I have been reading these books and watching his show, I have learned so much. I made so many mistakes with Peanut and when I see him again in Heaven I am going to owe him a HUGE apology! I have begun implementing his techniques with Chica and am noticing amazing changes in her. I can now walk her in the afternoons without her pulling my arm off to go back home and I am no longer afraid when we see another dog...and neither is she. On Friday she made friends with a Rottweiler-A ROTTWIELER! and yesterday she made friends with a little dog who couldn't keep his nose out of her butt...and she just ignored it and they ran around a bit together off leash!

In the coming weeks I'll continue to recount our new life as devoted members of Cesar's "Pack" and the wonderful lessons we're learning from him as we continue to work on Chica's anxiety issues and prepare for Bailey's arrival. And once Bailey's here, I'll let you know how it goes as we raise our calm submissive Cocker!