Before Cesar even begins to discuss pack leaders, the purpose of the walk or problem solving, he gives you the key to unlocking your new life-and it all comes down to energy.
Alex has always been hyper-aware of the power of energy. He feels it all around him. He can read it, harness it, cleanse it, and transfer it. Unfortunately, he couldn't transfer his knowledge of it to me. I wasn't raised with that sense of awareness and appreciation. I could see the beauty of vast vistas around me, but I couldn't feel it. I looked at the world with my eyes, but only the people I loved in it with my soul. He used to try to get me to lay my hands slightly above things to see if I could feel the energy he felt so easily. It was all very surreal to me and I think he gave up when I expressed only half-hearted interest.
It took my experiences with Peant, my open-ness to Cesar's lessons and the instant results I've seen in Chica to open my eyes. When he spoke of how atuned dogs are to the energy we give off and when I saw what he was saying put into practice on his show, I became eager to learn more and put it into practice. And what better place to practice than on our walks.
When we still had Peanut, I already walked into the house at the end of my work day defeated. I would be tired and want nothing more than to curl up on the couch with the TV, but knowing that I still had a long night ahead of me. I knew that when I walked through the door something was going to be destroyed. I knew he would want to go for a walk and that the walk would take FOREVER because he was going to want to sniff every blade and every tree. He would pee a dozen times and poop at least four times. I knew I had to bring Chica with us and that she was going to make it absolutely miserable. She was going to try to yank me back to the building. She was going to run when I wasn't looking. She was going to get the leashes tangled up. She was going to cry. Peanut was going to growl at anyone that came near him. The giant poodly-looking thing across the street that attacked them was going to be out walking, too. On and on it went-downer after downer after downer. And after I finally got them home I knew I still wasn't going to be able to sit down because I'd either have to go for a run, knowing that despite the walk they'd still howl so loud you'd be able to hear them in the next county, or I'd have to cook dinner, or both. So by the time I'd actually get to the door my shoulders and arms would practically be dragging on the floor and I wouldn't want to go in. I would pray for rain or bitter temperatures-anything that meant I didn't have to do more than take them outside to go to the bathroom. I resented the fact that it all fell on my shoulders, that Alex could come home and pass out on the couch with no responsibilities whatsoever, to be woken up to a hot plate in front of him. Some days I really wanted to be that one.
Eventually, I gave in. I would take them outside and bring Chica back in before taking Peanut for his walk. It was so much better without her. And then one day the strangest thing happened. Peanut and I rounded the corner onto Norwood and there, coming toward us, were Alex and Chica. He said he came home and when he got inside and asked where Mommy and Peanut were she started crying and jumping around and going to the door, so he decided to bring her to meet us. I didn't understand it at all. Why would she walk with him and not with me? They didn't always come meet us and as Peanut began to limp and his limping became more pronounced I'd either take her out first or force her to come with us and put up with her anxiety attacks.
Well, now I know why she wouldn't walk with me. She didn't trust me to lead her. My energy was about as far from calm-assertive as you can get. It was tense, impatient, anxious, frustrated, resigned...just about every negative word you could think of. I didn't want to be there doing this, so why would she?! Alex, on the other-hand, was naturally calm and assertive. I don't know if it's from years of managing others or how he was raised, but she knew that while she couldn't depend on him for much, she could depend on him to walk her safely.
I have a really long way to go. I am not aware of the energy I give off most of the time, but I am always aware of it when I want to take her for a walk or go exploring with her. My head is up, my chest is out, my shoulders are back. I know it's going to be an awesome walk. I know I'm going to love every minute I spend out there with her. I know that if we meet another dog or another person, it's going to be better than okay. And you know what? After one small correction to get her started, she not only walks with me...she walks with me with her tail up and wagging, her ears up and loose and her tongue lollying around. Now, I admit I don't do it EXACTLY as Cesar says yet. I don't make her stay beside me, I let her wander around and smell things. We stop when she wants to and she goes to the bathroom when she wants to. As we draw closer to bringing Bailey home, I want to start instituting the twice daily walks, one of which I want to be structured and I want to work on my energy-awareness because I think it will not only help me with the dogs, but with my marriage and my life at the office as well.
And now my energy is telling me I've run off at the mouth and it's time to join Chica in bed because I have a long day of meetings ahead...
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